Joanna

I’ve struggled to love myself most of my life. I’ve never been happy with the reflection in the mirror.

I saw someone who was weak. Someone who allowed themselves to be abused and harassed. I saw someone who was never good enough or deserving of love. The person in the mirror was too tall. Too big. Not American enough. Not Filipino enough.

Enter a diagnosis of triple negative breast cancer and the way I saw the world, myself, completely changed.

In the past 6 weeks I’ve received an outpouring of love and support that I never expected. Whether it was providing dinner for my family or sending words of encouragement, each gesture has meant the world. It’s the love and encouragement that motivates me to fight each day, but it has also taught me to love myself.

For the first time in 35 years, when I look in the mirror, I love who I see. I see a mom who loves her girls and a wife who adores her husband. I see someone who loves her community and all those in her tribe. I see someone strong and deserving of love.

A good friend once told me, “It’s the best kept secret in the universe. Love starts within. Once you figure that out and love yourself in a real way, love you didn’t even know was possible starts pouring in.”

Call me crazy, but cancer was the best thing to ever happen to me.

-Joanna Paredes, 35